Embarking on Eudaimonia; with Laura Durban, author of Sovereign
An interview series on the questions we carry on the path within by Ta Hiron
Today we are embracing with Sovereign author Laura Durban, an extraordinary guide through the realms of Motherhood, Facilitation, and Leadership. Laura seamlessly weaves magic into the mundane. As a Teacher, Inner Work Facilitator, Avalon Priestess, and Cacao Ceremonialist Mentor, she helps others uncover meaning, purpose, and enchantment through mythology and inner alchemy.
Laura mentors sacred leaders and space holders, guiding them through integration and transformation. Her work includes a mythic fairytale for adults, A Nymph’s Tale, published in the book Rebal Ma, which bridges the conscious and subconscious, the sacred and the mundane. Through her Intuition Ignition course, she empowers others to connect deeply with their senses, unlocking the magical insights within. Laura's commitment to presence and authenticity makes her a beacon of light for those seeking joy in business, creativity, spirituality, and beyond.
If you could distil your life philosophy, what would it be, and why is it meaningful to you?
Dare to embrace the Unknown. And learn to accept the present.
I’ve always been a fan of leaning towards my next edge of discomfort in order to grow. And for discerning between what is the real discomfort. For some it’s embracing the new instead of staying in the familiar. But for others it is facing what you got instead of escaping it. The discernment requires honesty with self and a willingness to face (subconscious) fears. This is the Unknown.
The importance of acceptance is that it helps us to consciously recognise those subconscious fears in the first place because our mind allows them to surface without judging ourselves. When we learn to accept our shadows we can get curious about why they are there, and when we are curious we are open to change. And as life is ever changing, constantly creating, like the river always flowing, we are aligning with its most natural force, which becomes our own power.
Like most of us I was conditioned to resist this most natural life force and instead to control it. But control is not based on stable foundations, it makes us believe in false illusions such as constructed safety and stability. When life is neither nor. The more I let go of control, the more I can expand. In trust, love, creativity. And therefore become more safe. Not necessarily in the outside world, but within myself. That’s why I think it is meaningful to surrender to the Unknown whilst simultaneously practising acceptance. Plus it makes life truly magical, because you start to open up towards the unexpected (uncontrolled) and experience the mystery. This doesn’t mean that you have to leave your job and move countries (although for me it did), you can embrace the Unknown in really small ways by looking at the least (to you) threatening thing you are trying to control and allowing yourself to approach it differently, with trust instead of fear.
Can you share a transformative experience that challenged your perceptions or beliefs about who you are and what you are capable of?
I’ve got plenty of those, specifically because I used to believe that even though I rationally know how capable humans can be, it just wasn’t me, that somehow I was not meant for greatness or power or miracles. But due to my willingness to evolve and face the unknown, life always had my back. It got really enchanting once I started noticing that life wants me to realise my power instead of doubting it. So I eventually decided to look at what could go right instead of letting the anxiety of what could go wrong rule over my decisions. And that led me to free birthing my son. Probably the most transformative experience that showed me what I am capable of: Physically, emotionally and mentally. And even spiritually as there was no denying my intuition anymore.
You note that you write about ‘the importance of sacred leadership embodied through inner alchemy’. Can you explain that further for us?
Inner Alchemy is inner transformation which requires presence, patience, and active participation. Meaning that it is only embodied when we integrate our changes into our lives, instead of just thinking or talking about ourselves but bringing our attention to where we are incongruent with our words and actions and actively changing that.
Thai for me is the true foundation of sacred leadership. It should never be about leading someone else. But about leading yourself honestly and in integrity in order to be an example instead of a human dogma. The best teachers don’t tell you how the world works, they guide you towards your own understanding of it. And so we need to redefine leadership and assign it to people that are genuinely interested in assisting (not leading) others to their own inner leader. And what makes it sacred is that we do this from a place of devotion to life. With life I mean creation, reciprocity, regeneration. Love in its essence and inclusive of all parts of the journey, even death. This comes with faith in the mystery, be it through the belief in a god/dess or nature. What is sacred to you? How does this inform your leadership? And what does it require of you to transform within?
Can you describe a time when you felt a deep sense of alignment between your inner self and external actions or circumstances? What did it feel like, and what contributed to this alignment?
This is such an important question and something I am striving to experience on a day to day. It is happening when I trust in these subtle inner knowings and am courageous to let them inform my external behaviour. Sometimes that can look like saying yes to something that doesn’t (yet) make sense but makes my heart flutter or saying no to something that would be rationally the next best step but feels like a very heady decision whilst the body contracts.
The most intense and important time that came to my mind was I knew deep down that I did not want to start a job as a teacher despite my years of study and desire to have a secure payment and direction. Suddenly I knew it wasn’t right and I said no, disappointing my father and confusing myself. I spent two weeks in the dark, until I found trust in myself. The day after I got a job offer with all the things I wanted to do, plus less hours, flexibility and a work trip to Guatemala. This changed my life and laid the foundations for me becoming completely self-employed and financing my family through work I truly love doing.
A big key to this in my opinion is fostering congruent behaviour. I talk about it a lot (bless my partner, he knows I can get carried away with problem solving through that, but of course sometimes it’s also important to just be ok with not being in perfect alignment and through that allowing yourself to feel all the feels which is probably exactly what is needed). For me it is a very practical way to practise integrity with our thoughts, words and actions. I wrote about an example here: https://lauradurban.substack.com/p/priestess-pathway-practicalities
Do you have a story to share with us of being derailed from something you were working towards? How did that work out and do you have any reflections on it now?
Yes, this would also be the moment of pivot in my career. As I was working towards becoming an art and literature teacher and work in school. In this case being derailed was the right thing as it steered me towards what I truly wanted instead of what I made myself believe I needed. E.g having a plan, stable income and controlling my future. Since then I became more and more aware of how things worked out for me when I allowed them to flow and how things got stuck as soon as I tried to force them into a concrete form. For some it is the exact opposite lesson, usually when you have been flowing your whole life without ever committing, you will most likely get opportunities to take responsibility for being more reliable. For me however it is a strong lesson in trust and surrender.
I love that you write from the rich source of mythology (amongst other wonderful sources); do you have a particular story from one of these sources you feel most drawn to, and what does it mean to you?
Indeed, I recently recorded my own retelling of “The Elucidation” for Substack, you can find it here with further explanations and an audio version to listen to: https://lauradurban.substack.com/p/the-elucidation-of-the-faery-accord
When I encountered this story I felt as if it was the confirmation that magic exists. See, during my graduation in literature I studied the Arthurian Legends of which this story is a part of, but it wasn’t part of our university program. So my study only touched the surface of what the Grail Myths meant, yet years later when I embarked on my spiritual journey and priestess path; I discovered all the research about the deeper layer of meanings and connections to Mystery Traditions in the Arthurian Stories. The Elucidation touched me profoundly as it resonated with my own experiences from meditation, vision journeys and dreams. This is why I decided to write my own continuation of it and bring it to life, interwoven with my personal journey.
What role do you believe self-discovery plays in leading a fulfilling life, and if you do, how do you actively engage in that process?
The feeling of fulfilment is a very subjective state, one that can´t be narrowed down by self-discovery or knowledge of self. To me personally though it plays a huge part in me feeling fulfilled.
I always had an incredible thirst of discovering my inner depth, diving into my subconscious waters and drinking from the well of wisdom presented in a cup handed to me by my inner world. Once numbed and hidden in the dark, eventually the thirst became too strong to ignore and after exploring what felt like a desert for many years of my life, I finally reached the inner source and was able to reconnect with myself.
But once tasted from the sacred spring within, your mind will recognise that everything you need is already here. And for some this recognition is a given, for others it is hard earned and most deny it completely. Or hand it back to where it originated because it seems too simple. Fulfilment doesn´t require hard work, qualifications, material goods or approval. It’s a choice we can make at any moment and if we don´t know where to start then getting to know ourselves more intimately is a perfect first step. Why would anyone turn their back on it then? Because we grew up in a society that tells us to struggle in order to be worthy, it strips us early on from our innate knowing, it separates us from what should be a natural connection. And so when we meet that part that was suppressed or beaten down, it feels uncomfortable, not at all natural. Unrecognisable. And that is why so many choose to turn around and stay in what feels familiar even though they know on a rational level it is not healthy nor fulfilling. Hence why the first step would be to ask the right questions:
What do I think I need in order to finally feel fulfilled? Why? Who told me that?
Is this my belief? Where does it come from?
When I allow myself to feel worthy what would I do?
If I had the approval of my surrounding/parents/friends/society what would I do?
What do I need to feed my own approval?
It is essentially a journey from the external to the internal. Knowing that when you arrive and root in yourself, the external does not necessarily change in a way you expect or want it, but you will reflect it differently and eventually make different choices, meet different people, discern between jobs and activities in a way that feels fulfilling to you.I also know people who didn’t have to embark on this journey because they are already anchored firmly within and those are usually the ones with the simple answers: Go outside, sit under a tree, put your hands in the soil, plant a seed, watch it grow. Play with your kids, chat with your friends, and contribute to the community. Do what allows you to be glad. Not dopamine based instant gratification (hint hint: put your phone on do-not-disturb mode and engage with your immediate surroundings), find long-lasting contentment, the slow burning pleasure.
What brings you joy? Do more of that.
Sounds too simple? It definitely was for me. So I made it complicated for myself. But eventually I ended up with this same question and realised that I tried to avoid it and distracted myself from the answer. Because I didn’t know. And it was scary to face this unknowing, having to admit that I don’t know what I want because I got so used to orienting myself on the desire of others in order to bond. And here we come full circle again: Face your fears.
Looking back on your life experiences, what are the two most important lessons or pieces of advice you've learned in navigating life's complexities?
One of the first things that impacted my perception of the world was when I got told that we are all mirrors of each other. I was 23 and very emotional and in a classic relationship drama. My boyfriend back then and I were working on a farm in Italy and our wise host said that to me, explaining that whenever we accuse the other person of something they have done or should have done, it is an invitation to look at our own actions, words and feelings. It took me several years to truly accept and integrate that lesson but it is probably one of the most helpful things in life.
My friend and mentor Keith Wilson used to give the best advice. He would say things like “If you want enlightenment: Lighten the fuck up” and “Get out of your own way”. His straight to the core attitude and disarming authenticity had the power to disperse any over analysing thoughts and helped me to focus on the way forward. He was also the one who brought nuance to the above mentioned mirror lesson. As it is important to not take anyone as a literal mirror of yourself but a mirror of your emotional charges and reflection of triggers.
Looking at people in that way helps us to transform ourselves.
Sometimes we are triggered because someone is expressing themselves in a way we are secretly longing to be able to do ourselves but we hold back and rather judge them for doing it. Or we think our partner should pay more attention when truly, we have neglected ourselves or are invited to model the behaviour first, by appreciating our partner for all the things they do instead of highlighting the things they don´t do.
Do you have any tattoos and if so, and you are happy to share, can you tell us about them?
I don’t have any because of my ever evolving taste - I am so grateful I didn’t get a gecko tattooed on my collar bone whilst on my language travels in Malta when I was 17! Also I have too many ideas that would have to be added up until it would become too much and I would feel the need to simplify and go back to the start - which is not really possible. I have a nose piercing and earrings though, they can be exchanged with different jewellery or taken out completely if at some point I don’t like them anymore. Maybe after my child bearing years I will get a tattoo or more. Something like “abracadabra”, meaningful but with a smile.
What 3 books have been the most impactful for you to read and why?
The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield: It brought magic and psychology together and helped me to understand life’s synchronicities and myself better. It also came at a crucial time of moving through a tough breakup and helped me focus on the path ahead instead of griefings something that had no future.
Momo by Michael Ende: It’s a captivating story as a child but becomes a societal study when you are an adult and makes you appreciate (and recognise) kindness and connection. It’s a teaching about fulfilment actually, a hymn to the present moment and gratitude for what we have.
Avalon Within by Jhenah Telyndru: The book that brought me home. To myself but more so to my current home, Glastonbury in the UK, where my son’s placenta is buried in his grandmother’s garden between Wearall Hill and the Tor, the sacred hollow hills of the Faery Queen and King.
Can you please tell us about your Substack and any other writing you have out?
I have two publications, one focussing on mythology, inner alchemy and personal writings: Sovereign with Laura Durban
The other one is bread and butter: Kakaozauber | Cacao Enchantment it is all about ceremonial cacao, sacred facilitation, ceremony and personal connection to Spirit. The next guided Cacao Dieta will be at the end of September. If you love chocolate and would like to take it a step further into shadow work and expanding your joy check it out!
I mentioned before that I wrote a continuation of the Elucidation, but in a contemporary way as a mythic fairytale for adults. It is called A Nymph’s Tale and it just got published in the most amazing and trailblazing book “REBEL MA: Healing in the Time of the Feminine, Women’s Stories of Liberation”. I would love for you to purchase the ebook (hardcover coming in a month), all proceeds go to the Middle Eastern Children’s Alliance for emergency support in Gaza. My story is amongst an incredible collection of other voices, you will not be short of goosebumps and heart pounding resonance.
I am also sharing further writings about A Nymph’s Tale to expand my work into a future book within the paid membership of my Sovereign publication.
Any final thoughts/story to leave us with:
I leave you with a response I wrote to a comment on one of my substack articles which a fellow writer spotted as a poetic statement and broke into lines for me:
We all have our coping strategies don’t we
And distractions and
Such but I came to realise
That I want to be in this world
And rediscover how beautiful it can be
Let’s create a world we don’t want to ascend from but one we love to be in.
Thank you, Laura, for sharing your extraordinary journey with us today. Your philosophy of embracing the Unknown and accepting the present resonated deeply. I was captivated by your transformative experience of free birthing your son. I can sense your strength in this story and, through the whole interview, feeling moved and inspired by your willingness to lean in only to arrive at your deep inner well of strength. Your career pivot story, emphasizing trust and surrender, provided valuable insights into aligning the inner self with external actions. Such trust in self is a guiding light for us all.
Thank you for sharing your writings, including "A Nymph’s Tale". What a fabulous cause to support! Your commitment to authenticity and the sacred is enlightening. Let’s all strive to create a world we love to be in, rediscovering its beauty and magic.
A direct link to subscribe to Laura is at the end of this page.
All photos have been supplied by Laura Durban.
P.S. Embarking on Eudaimonia signifies a journey towards living a life of fulfilment, purpose, and flourishing.
"Eudaimonia" is a Greek term often translated as "happiness" or "flourishing." In philosophy, particularly in Aristotle's ethics, eudaimonia refers to the state of living well, achieving one's full potential, and experiencing a sense of fulfilment and thriving in life.
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Let’s create a world we don’t want to ascend from but one we love to be in.
Laura Durban
A wonderfully deep interview. I really resonated with Laura's philosophy - create a world you love to inhabit. We are all more powerful than we think. Also very wise , almost a paradoxical comment - be open to the unknown, while embracing the present......kind of like recognising that we have left the past behind, not yet achieved the future, so our best route is to live the present fully. Thank you both.
This was the most profound (and intense) interview I was ever asked to partake in, Ta has incredibly inquisitive and intriguing questions and I can’t wait to read more of this series. Straight to the core! Thank you so much for having me