8 things to start the year with; from this messy middle week to a case for celebrating you
In this newsletter:
Is this the best week of the year?
Replacing initial judgement with seeking
A case for celebrating
Always rushing, why do we do that?
The messy middle
The 30 min movie that makes everything better
January Book Recommendation
And, when you don’t have anything to write or do…
This week between Christmas and New Year, the last week of 2022, is a week where what hasn’t happened in 2022 maybe isn’t going to, so we can, with all our Christmas hangover sloth, release any need to do it now. This is a week of relief in letting go. It is a week off from forward motion and to-dos. It is a week we can enjoy those non-outcome things we put off, like reading books, in place of our action lists. This is the best week to simply be.
Replacing initial judgement with seeking out what may be
Frida Kahlo and her husband, twenty years her senior, Diego Rivera, had judgement cast on their relationship based on comparison of looks. She saw beyond the man to the wider frame of their relationship, where they had a deep love that guides and encourages.
“Perhaps it is expected that I should lament about how I have suffered living with a man like Diego. But I do not think that the banks of a river suffer because they let the river flow, nor does the earth suffer because of the rains, nor does the atom suffer for letting its energy escape. To my way of thinking, everything has its natural compensation.”
Frida Kahlo
A case for celebrating YOUR OWN birthday.
Many of us hide our age and don’t celebrate our birthdays. There are many reasons for this, and I respect it can be hard for some. However, no matter what, YOU are worth celebrating, and that is a note to carry with you now and always.
BIRTH-Days
Birthdays come, and birth-days go, and on your day, this please know,
many didn’t get the chance to increase with age for another dance.
Age; is a gift; aging is grace, such richness when we reflect our age.
To say I’ve seen this many dawns, trees grow past me - what a thing to recall.
I’ve seen babies become parents and watched my whole dog’s life,
is a blessing we must keep in sight.
Don’t hide your age, no shout it loud; for those that didn’t get to, please be proud.
Your birth is a celebration no doubt; something wondrous is what it’s about.
And whilst it’s yours, know this too, how you love you is how others learn too.
We celebrate a child, but for them to know, how to receive it, you must show
in how you do and in what you say. So say it’s wonderful to have a birth-day.
The delight you see in a child’s eye, is the delight adults must show is high.
You are always worth celebrating, another year please know, isn’t something that should quietly go.
Tell a workmate, go on say your age, buy a cake, take it home today,
tip your glass to your self and say
Happy Birthday to me,
thanks for the gift, my age is 40, what a blessing is this.
Why are we in such a rush?
Often we try to rush through it. We are getting this and that done, focused on getting it done quickly to get to the next thing. Then comes this time of year slowing us, asking us what we are racing towards?—there will always be more, so why race?
The messy middle
When you are on holiday, there is the honeymoon beginning. Once we are on holiday for a few days, we sink into the change. Only before we know it, the end has approached, and we are heading home.
When we go through change, that sinking-in middle period is where we have begun to let go of what was before, but as we haven’t yet stepped into the new, there is this awkward period of free falling that can leave us feeling vulnerable and raw. What can help us work through this is to come back to known rituals or routines. Find something familiar or begin a new practice that feels safe, like gardening, cooking, or practising some journalling to make sense of the new feelings.
This week really is the messy middle. Still unsure of what to do? Maybe just pick up a book and distract yourself for a while whilst enjoying the freedom of this week that gives you permission to do a whole lot less.
The 30 min movie that makes everything better
The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Hoarse is a book I have raved about before, and now it is a movie. Check out this post for more on the book to give you an insight into what the movie will be like. To be upfront, I do apologise that this movie is available on Apple and not a free streaming service. However, it is so heartwarming and wonderful it is worth a mention. It is all of life’s greatest guidance and advice wrapped up in a warm hug.
My January Book Recommendation
Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? By Dr Julie Smith is a book that reassures us that life is messy and lonely and hard. It then gives us the tools from a trained professional to work through it and get out of the ruts we get into. I think I will need to regularly revist this one.
If you like the idea of doing some inner work this time of year, I also highly recommend the popular How to do the Work by Dr Nicole LePera.